Adventures in Hyrule

So I was soulstorming in the street the other day when I fell into an open manhole and that's where I met Splinter who was just a big rat but he knew how to fight and bite, he called it karazy and then he would wrap himself in a big towel like he was tired and be about to leave the stage but then he would throw it off when the band played and come back and drop some of those funky-fresh moves and the crowd would go wild and he would say he feel's good and elude the police but get arrested and serve his time and play music with the cop who arrested him and hire the D.A. who convicted him, and then I said you're not Splinter, you're James Brown and he looked at me real hard and said "shhhhh.. it's a secret to everyone", and then I bought the blue candle for 60 rubies and stabbed him and ran off before the fireballs could hit me.