Rants and Raves

"It's your god. They're your rules. YOU go to hell."

If my spinal cord liquifies and I don't get up for a couple of years, you have my permission to kill me. Don't skimp me on the morphine drip either.

I'm glad we're worried about the real troublemakers in the world like former chess World Champion Bobby Fischer. Bin Laden, Bulger, al-Zarqawi be damned. With Fischer's mighty castling skills and Nimzo-Indian defense he is sure to conquer humanity.

Ideal deaths for various right-wing pundits

1.O'Reilly: On-air stroke while losing an argument to an ACLU representative/and/or Al Franken on his show. After his repeated attempts to throw his more mentally astute guests off the show fall on deaf ears he turns beat-red and keels over. Hilarity ensues.

2. Ann Coulter: She is sent to combat and is severly wounded by an RPG while attempting to cower in a doorway, violating an order from her squad leader. She is then nursed back to health by Iraqi doctors and sent back to America with a dishonorable discharge. Her political career over, she enters the porn industry, but contracts "SuperAids" while filming Interracial Anal Adventures 3. Without health care, she wastes away quickly, and her shallow grave is dug up by wild dogs seeking food. Finding nothing but skin and bones, they deficate on the grave. Hilarity ensues.

3. Rush Limbaugh: An F.B.I. probe reveals he was the ringleader of an illegal Oxycontin selling operation. He is sentenced to five years in Federal prison. He meets some new friends on the inside, and upon his release he starts up a male "escort" service with Jeff Gannon aka James Guckert. Their business fails due to lack of interest and a strung out Limbaugh is found dead in the NYC subway system early one morning. It doesn't even make the front page.


A couple of thoughts on Barry Bonds.

He has had the most dominant offensive seasons any player has ever had. He has more MVP awards than any player ever. I believe him to be the best all-around hitter of all time. That being said, he is clearly an asshole, took steroids, likely cheated on his wife for years, and couldn't throw out Sid Bream in 1992. He has no world series' rings, and odds are he will never get one. I hope he never breaks Hank Aaron's record and that his life is made a living hell by media and fans until he retires. He has brought all of this on himself by constantly antagonizng people and playing the race card. Fuck you Barry.


My Top ten favorite Hawks of all-time

1. Dominique WIlkens (Was a Bulldawg. Human highlight film. Nuff said.)
2. Doc Rivers (Super nice guy. Solid point. Only weakness was his jumper.)
3. Rasheed Wallace (Best player we've had since 'Nique. If only for a game.)
4. "Pistol" Pete Maravich (Before my time, but you gotta love a white guy scoring 30-40 a game.)
5. Tree Rollins (Blocked a helluva lot of shots, had a great introduction. Treeeeeeee Rollins)
6. Randy Wittman (White boy who could shoot. "Whittman from the corner.... BULLSEYE!)
7. Bob Pettit (Got to the NBA championship, scored alot of points. Thats about all I know.)
8. Mookie Blaylock (Smokes the ganja, gets alot of steals, shot too many damn threes.)
9. Isaiah Rider (Many didn't like him but he was a good player. Also liked to smoke the ganja.)
10. Josh Smith & Spud Webb (Young and the old guard for ATL in the slam contest. Come to think about it, the dunk contest is about the only thing the Hawks have ever won.)

Honorable Mention: The black dude in the starter jacket who used to come to every game with a tamborine and bang it all game. I wonder whatever became of him.

So lets see... I've typed a bunch of worthless shite that no one cares about but me. How rude. Perhaps I should give anyone who ventured this far a reward. Here's my favorite little poker tart in the buff. (NSFW). TTFN kiddies.