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"I'm the greatest muthafucker you've ever met in your life"- Overheard from a man asking for change from drive-thru patrons at a Burger King

Random fact: In poker you cannot make a straight without having either a 5 or a 10 in your hand.

Labels, Measures, Scores, Tags, Numbers, Words even. All are essentially meaningless when broken down. They are mere representations of human ideas that help us understand the world around us.

Michael Jackson is actually the resurrected corpse of Ramses III. His nose rotting off, skin turning pale, and child molestation are all consistent with this. It is unknown how Ramses learned the moonwalk but it is believed to have been taught to him by aliens.

Anyone who has ever uttered the phrase "cool beans", or "fantabulous", will either: A. Die of a flesh-eating disease, B. Have a retarded child, or C. Be maimed by a wild animal.

Sarah Jessica-Parker is not attractive. She is too skinny and wrinkly. The only truly "hot" girl on that show was the dark-haired one and she could use some bigger tits.

What is with these shows with a fat, lower middle class balding guy and a hot wife? Whatever happened to legitimate sitcoms on television that don't involve cartoons. Somebody shoot Jim Belushi. Please. I'll pay you. Really.

Old people should have mandatory drivers tests every five years from 65 on till 75 where they should have them every 2 years. Its just common sense.

Now this is just fucked up.

As is this.... but yummm.

"I wouldn't want him living on my street, that boy looks crazy like an axe murderer"- said about me by Kevin Willis circa 1989..... Over and out.