"Slip slidin away...."

When I was five I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian. The reason I gave was because I "never wanted to hurt another living thing." I actually abstained from meat for a full year with the exception of pepperoni, which my parents told me was a vegetable. At eleven I wanted to genetically cross breed humans with animals and create an army of mutants to help me become Supreme ruler of the world. Today I want nothing more than a cold alcoholic beverage, a large cheeseburger and fries, a girl on standby to suck me off at my whim, and NCAA tournament basketball on tv. I think I can manage at least 75% of these requests after work today on my own. Perhaps my dark goddess Kali will grant me the other 25%.