Grimace and Santa Claus

At first blush, it seems an amorphous, asexual purple blob makes an unlikely spokesman for the most prolific fast food restaurant in the World. Even odder is the motley crew surrounding him: An admitted criminal (Hamburglar), the Pennywise/John Wayne Gacy lookalike (Ronald), and other Lovecraftianesque horrors (Fry-Guys, Iam Hungry, Mayor McCheese).
Similarly, a fat old man living in the arctic wastelands of the world flanked only by an enslaved army of halflings doesn't seem to have a great deal to do with the birth of the immortal savior of our world. That both characters are illusions created by their respective soulless franchises (McDonalds, Christianity), to increase revenue and clientele is obvious. What is not as apparent however, is the reason why these particular images were chosen. Answer: It doesn't fucking matter.
An ad-campaign featuring a sunglass wearing, feces-slinging monkey hurling its waste and then eating a banana before retiring to a bedroom hand in hand with Kirsten Dunst and Jessica Simpson and remarking "The secret is in the peeling" to market Coca-colas' new banana flavored soda would likely be a hit and would be perfectly accepted by viewers. What is the point of all of this? Consumers today can accept whatever entirely random and chaotic circumstances are thrown at them. It doesn't have to make sense for it to happen. Sometimes it just does.

UGA 31
Florida 21

GO DAWGS!!!!

Playskool bucket

Lap at the filthy puddles mangy dogs. The heart of the nation will never be sheared with the stake, thus ending the endless feeding. The pain of the human condition nourishes the psyche, gluttons feast and feast, not quelling the appetite, but causing it to grow exponentially. It is not hunger in the true sense that drives the beast but desire to rule, to conquer, to sit upon a throne of skulls as the howls of the lesser inhabitants soothe our ears. Such behavior, while unsavory to the philosophers, satisfies the calls of the economists, generals and moonshiners. Suicide is not killing one's own body but one's own soul, and as such, we knock our own sandcastle down before the tide can reach it as playtime is nearly over and the shadows have begun to fall across the beach.

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 8473342