Who do you think's in the burgers?

Triple up and form the pyramid. Read the scrolls, fill your body with the herbs and bask in the knowledge. Then rise like Ramses and spread the wisdom with the world.

The thousand points of light were extinguished by the mention of the element. It fell from the heavens, not in the form of rain but dumped in buckets by minimum-wage making lackeys. Not a bad job, to douse Alanis Morisette, although she is but a poser, eh, and may end up on a meathook being carved up by a mad butcher named Barth.
Bush doesn't know either, which is why the green slime of corruption has oozed so deep within the machine that it may never run smoothly again. No simple oil change can clean out the gunk, the files have been utterly corrupted. Total fragmentation. Blacks with blacks. Whites with whites. Don't even get me started on the Mexicans. Entire towns where English is the second language. Where citizenship is the exception to the rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Then should we not be attacked? Should not our leadership be overthrown by foreign liberators? I am no fan of nuclear weapons. Why do we possess them if not to strike others? Aaahh yes, it is but our insurance policy against the infidels. Infidels against our religion of power. The immense power of our nation. Our nation's independence day is July 4th, and was a movie as well. The invaders were like locusts, spreading from world to world, exhausting the resources and moving on. Defeating the natives with their superior weaponry and using mind control. Ask the Navajo. Apache or Choctaw people if this strategy seems familiar. There are but questions. Answers are few and far between.

XXXmas greetings

Christmas Eve and I am watching the James Bond with the gay killers. Highly comical. The manner in which 007 dispatches them is equally funny as he burns one up and throws the other into the sea with a bomb attached to him. I took a hiatus from the blog because I didn't really feel like writing anything since I am prevented from fucking around on here at work. Not coincidentally, my productivity has increased. The end of the year has been productive for your humble narrator as I may soon be delving into the legal profession due to my proficiency at passing a certain test without much studying. For all who read this from time to time, I hope that all is going well in your lives and that the next year will bring with it happiness and success (as well as orgies and drug binges). I certainly wish that for myself (the first part). Merry Christmas!

And you thought I was retarded

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

And to celebrate, I even made a dance video.

Perspective

He stared out at the tides and contemplated the futility of it all. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and snatched a fish from the clear water. Just a moment before the fish was frolicking in the vast sea, and just like that, its life force is extinguished as the gull crunches its bone and slurps down its flesh. Why be a quitter. Defeatist attitudes dishonor your ancestors and weaken your soul. Imagine a child born with cerebral palsy in 19th century Sudan. Would that child not give anything for the opportunities you have. FIGHT. Accomplish your goals. If you have no goals, live for the betterment of your fellow man. If that isn't enough for you, find a soulmate and live to make that person smile. Surround yourself with soulmmates; good people who deserve happiness and help them accomplish it. Christmas is not about "happy holidays", "merry christmas", or helping companies rebound with a strong 4th quarter. It is about the teachings of Jesus Christ and living (and dying) for your fellow man.

With a newfound sense of purpose, he inhaled deeply from his straightshooter and coughed heavily from the cracksmoke. He then walked quickly back to his car, ready to make some changes.